Prometheus (2012) Review

Due to the fan interest in Ridley Scott as a possible director for the next Terminator movie, we decided to review the latest edition to the Alien franchise…

Prometheus 3D

Cert: 15 124 min

Director: Ridley Scott.

Writers: Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green, Idris Elba.

“A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.”

*WARNING! May contain spoilers!

Review:

Ridley Scott’s legendary return to the Alien franchise was beautifully shot, produced and edited, and, as Mr. Scott himself has stated repeatedly; this is NOT a PREQUEL… this movie answers no questions and leaves you filled with a general sense of unease – and not due to the imaginative story or the sheer acting ability but because this movie is so weighed down by plotholes and unnecessary one-liners that Michael Fassbender’s “David” is quite honestly the story’s only saving grace… and I don’t say that lightly.

Tonight I had my Fandom dreams trampled just that little bit more as I sat there 3D glasses’n all, listening to fellow audience members laughing at moments which should have carried weight, which should have brought forth gasps of horror (had it been Alien or Aliens it would have). An especially uncomfortable moment involving Noomi Rapace “Shaw” was answered by a gentleman behind me talking on the phone… no-one was connecting and the disinterest was palpable.

The casting is right, it has all the right faces just not in the right roles. Charlize Theron was meant to play “Shaw” but due to scheduling commitments (Mad Max 4) she couldn’t do it and had to take a lesser role… and that’s where I grind my teeth. Not even the half-naked dripping-wet form of Charlize doing push-ups will deter me! The acting ability of Ms. Theron was wasted on “Vickers” the cold-hearted ice-queen (de ja vu?); she barely has enough screen time for a human connection of any kind,- to be honest none of the cast do and “Vickers” encounter with the ship’s Captain “Janek” played by Idris Elba, wasn’t convincing at all.

For nearly two and a half hours I should have been on the edge of my seat, sweating so much I didn’t need the restroom and f*ckin’ loving it! Alas, this was not the case.

This movie was entirely shot in 3D, has an epic director and an amazing cast (albeit mis-used), the locations were stunning and baron and the sets were astounding, so why am I so f*cking pissed off? The writing was god awful. Written by Damon Lindelof (Crossing Jordan, Nash Bridges, Lost, Wasteland, Once Upon a Time, Cowboys and Aliens and 2009’s Star Trek) and Jon Spaihts (The Darkest Hour)… (anyone else read that and think WTF?) The story is weak to say the least, the outcome of the story leaves nothing for surprise and actually manages to impress me less than Alien 3.

The movie may have also benefitted from a bit more gore, the Alien saga thus far hasn’t exactly been delicate when it comes to blood and guts (hello? Alien?- chest burst? Aliens?- bodies on the walls? And so on..) and here Prometheus differs again, there is some gore but not a drop of what I had feverishly anticipated in my gleeful blood-lust. No. Instead… homemade caesarian section and the puffin, er sorry, “Shaw” was back to running around haphazardly… again. I like some gore, when necessary, my problem with Prometheus is… there were a few moments when the camera abruptly jerks away and you miss the gore by mere inches and you’re left feeling a little cheated… “This is not an Alien prequel” No Ridley, it’s not.

The soundtrack, usually atmospheric in a Ridley Scott movie pissed me off even more! Using the same composer as he did with his Russel Crowe “Robin Hood” movie didn’t make me happy at all. This is not a f*cking soft pan-pipe movie Ridley! (at least that’s what my naivete told me)… then followed some gentle floaty music interspersed with shots of the horizon…

… don’t even get me started on accents *cough*NoomiRapace*cough* not good.

I feel like I need a strong drink to counteract my disappointment.

Summary:

Summer movie, not for hardcore fans of the franchise, … I hope Terminator 5 is at least better than this!

Additional notes:

On further inspection it appears that Jon Spaihts may have written a “true” Alien movie only to have it sacrificed on the Hollywood alter of shame to a man with no imagination (Damon Lindelof) who then shat out Prometheus…

This is what Lindelof had to say of Spaihts’ original script in a promotional interview for the movie:

“It relied a little too heavily on things we’ve all seen before in the Alien franchise: face-huggers, chest-bursters, acid-bloods, xenomorphs, um, I said basically there’s a way to take all this stuff and make it, uh, reduce it, so it’s just a taste of this movie…

’cause the other ideas are original enough and compelling enough to survive on their own.
So, I basically pitched re-balancing it slightly and uh, Ridley was really into that. Ultimately on this job- from a writing standpoint, it’s just sitting and talking with Ridley and understanding exactly what kind of movie he wants to make. He’s the visionary, this is a Ridley Scott film, this is not a Damon Lindelof film that Ridley Scott is directing. So I just tried to channel him in everything that I did…”

… so there you have it! One butchered Prometheus script… I’m so sorry Mr. Spaihts for what has happened to your vision : (
Will a director’s cut heal the issue? We doubt it!