I remember when Terminator was great; I remember watching the first two movies and feeling… engulfed. Engulfed by the story and the characters- they were like nothing I’d ever seen before. They made me a Terminator Fan. But that was T1 and T2, that was before the franchise became a joke. Now, after watching Terminator 3: ROTM and Terminator Salvation I’m not even sure how to describe the complete disappointment I feel about the direction the legendary franchise has taken over the last ten years. Actually even the word “direction” can’t truly be used in reference to the total and utter shit heap which has become the Terminator franchise since 2003 (yes, partly Arnold’s fault and we all know it). The Terminator (1984) was a perfect example of an unexpected success- no-one thought it would do anything big financially in regards to Box Office revenue and then suddenly… wham! Success, money and James Cameron’s ship came in,- it was strongly suggested he make another:
“Another?” he thought, frowning a little, his hooked nose curling down with concentration.
Across the room the big studio exec smiled gently at Jim; amusing himself with mental images of cigars and naked women as he nodded in response.
This made the blonde director frown even more “But there was only meant to be one… I don’t know what happens next… I… I wanted to make Spiderman… I- do I get more money?”
The big studio exec nodded again, the smile spreading across his wide face. Money buys everything, he thought happily. Sometimes even very big movies can be bought for a cup of coffee…
So along came Terminator 2: Judgment Day and I was totally on-board, I’d strapped myself in and was along for the ride, feeling the heady rush of sci-fi and action. It’s a very appealing movie on so many levels; it’s a buddy movie, a sci-fi movie, a road movie, an action movie and very very quotable. It has strong acting performances, a strong story and a young angst-riddled John Connor but he has a right to be a little pissed off – his foster-mother used to be greased-up Vasquez from Aliens. The visuals were swish and stylish,- clearly Mr. Cameron had learnt a thing or two since the abysmal second Piranha and he wasn’t afraid to throw some directorial strutting into the movie to show all those doubters what he could do with proper money in the kitty. But, with great power comes great responsibility… (spiderman joke number two)… and…
T2 sent the power straight to JC’s head -no, not Jesus Christ, James Cameron (they aren’t the same person) and this brought about the first few time inconsistencies,- the creator doomed his creation to fail in the hands of others. James Cameron was set the task of squeezing every red cent out of merchandizing for T2: Judgment Day… there are a lot of quotables in the movie; things which go great on mugs and shirts and hats and things… every other sentence almost seems designed for merchandizing… T2 is a shiny bauble which makes your fingers smell like pennies.
And it is with heavy heart that I move onto my most disliked movie of the franchise to date; T3 (I know. And that’s with taking Charlie’s Angels 3, ahem, I mean Terminator Salvation, into account). I didn’t watch T3 until I had absolutely no other option- I disliked it from trailers, news and a couple of behind the scenes pieces on E! Then after watching it… I disliked A LOT about the movie. I disagreed with the director, I disagreed with the T-X, I disagreed with John Connor and I HATED Kate Brewster. I’ll let my brief rage subside…
In the grand scheme of things T3 is almost so bad that it’s easily forgotten and with a little effort, though I’m not sure it would be a good idea to wipe it out when it comes to the mythos of the franchise as a whole. T3 had some interesting ideas but they were poorly executed and the complacency of everyone involved seeps through with every scene- not to mention the ridiculously calculated and cynical attempts of the studio to “sex up” the franchise with the T-X; a blonde in a tight red pantsuit and inflatable knockers. I don’t know what it was meant to achieve within the story but clearly it was aimed at half-assed titillation *gag* I’d rather watch Babylon 5… O.M.G
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this section is reserved for my rantings and ravings aimed at Salvation (damnation?); I paid good money to watch an overly long trailer for some music video type thing with cameos from people like Batman, a rapper and Richie Cunningham’s daughter when what I actually wanted was the fourth instalment of the Terminator franchise. I wanted all of my doubts squashed. I wanted salvation. I was disappointed. AGAIN.
It really gets to piss me off when actors can’t remember which accent they’re meant to be using and at points in Salvation Sam Worthington had a thick Australian accent i.e. during McG’s orgasm scene, er, I mean, the confrontational scene with Batman. Batman sounds like a Cornish pirate in that very same scene.
There was no infantry from SkyNet… that speaks for itself. Future war? Fuck off, that wasn’t a future war.
… I’ve eventually reached the subject of the much awaited Terminator 5… took me a while eh?
I don’t have high hopes for T5, I don’t have any hopes at all. Whatever T3 managed not to destroy T4 helped dismantle a little more and T5 already stinks. Megan Ellison and her brother David are running the show now with Annapurna and Skydance… it’s Halcyon all over again and can’t you just tell… ? Two rich kids padding out their resumes with movies that’ll get them noticed, but they’re buying and funding an awful lot of projects right now and that to me screams lack of attention. Like little kids with a new box of crayons filling out a whole wall with drawings in a rush to show off.
I’m worried and the inclusion of writers Laeta Kalogridis and Patrick Lussier makes it much worse. Avatar, Drive Angry, Pathfinder, Alexander, Dracula 2000, My Bloody Valentine 3D? If they make Terminator 5 anything like any of those movies I will violently vomit on myself.
My vision of Annapurna’s Terminator movie… ? Location? Present day Los Angeles, the day of SkyNet’s attack; the bombs hit the world and John Connor begins his true ascension to the legend he is meant to be. The action is at ground zero. The threat is SkyNet and not so much the Terminators.
Right now I worry that soon my love for this franchise will finally buy the farm, because all I see is Terminator dead in the water and we’re all just waiting for the shit to float back up… again.
Article by Endo Morgan (TTF Editor)